In my last post, I mentioned the benefits of broadening your horizons and becoming more socially adept. Today, I will give you a few tips on how to achieve this.

Be true to yourself.

A lot of people think that to function well in social situations, you need to bend your own values into a pretzel. That is, you have to twist and bend to the what others want so that you are accepted by them. I don’t advocate this.

For one, consider the amount of energy it takes to cater to everybody’s  standards! Also, most people – including you! – can spot a fake a mile away. You don’t want to be this person.

Instead be true to yourself. Be genuine.

Show interest in others when you are truly interested in them. You will receive the same honesty in return.

Also, laugh out like a child. As we grow older we tend to suppress and smother our good sense of humor. Even the way we laugh is stifled in social occasions. Again, be as true and genuine as you can be. If something is really funny laugh and grin from ear to ear!

Be confident.

It’s hard to imagine the person you hardly hear utter a word as a leader. So strive to develop your confidence and be an active participant in discussions.

Be a great communicator.

To be a great communicator is not just knowing what to say and when to say it… but rather how to listen well to others and consider their opinions.

A friend of mine said they really like their boss because during meetings he really does listen to what they have to say and considers their input BEFORE he makes a decision. As a result, by the time he makes his decision known, he has the support of even those who did not agree with the boss’ choice because they know that the boss made an ‘informed decision’ (as opposed to just pushing what he wants).

Help others.

There is a pure joy that just comes out of helping others and a desire to spread the joy and goodwill around. As such, do random acts of kindness and let the good feeling wash over you. It will make your steps lighter and your smile brighter, which in turn makes others turn and be amazed at your radiant energy.

Most people want to be the ‘darling of the crowd’. This is something though that you really need to examine for yourself. For instance, if you want to be the center of attraction because this is the only way you can validate your worth, then this is not positive at all because it means you derive your meaning from other people.

This is however different from being ’socially empowered’, where people naturally gravitate to your aura and energy. In this situation, your self-confidence is the one that attracts all the others (as opposed to gaining self-confidence via the response of others to you).

So, why would you want to be socially empowered anyway?

Most socially-empowered people are successful; because they conduct themselves extremely well in social situations, other people look at them as their natural ‘best friend’… which they would likely to help at all times.

For example, if you’re social skills are good, then people see you as a HAPPY, ENERGETIC and above all, a CAPABLE person. They will more likely to help and assist you in your endeavors.

Of course, make no mistake, others will ask for your help too but nothing in this world is ever gained by just ‘taking’. It’s always a give and take situation and people are morely liekly to share, give to you, and help you on your way to success if you are socially adept.

So how do you develop great social skills?

The first thing you need to work at is yourself. Are you too shy? If so, then you need to start hanging out with other people more. This is the only way you can start training yourself be comfortable with others in social situations and for your personality to blossom.

You don’t need to take up public speaking! Start slow. Initiate and invite a friend or two for coffee. Work it up to a casual lunch of dinner and move on from there.

If, on the other hand, you’re a bit well, grouchy, then you need to work on that temper and demeanor too. Let’s face it, no one likes to be next to someone with a permanent frown on his/her face or someone who’s always focusing on the negative aspects of everything.

To start changing this, here’s something that doesn’t cost much: start to SMILE more! If you find yourself thinking of something negative about something or someone, stop that thought immediately. Instead, think of what’s GOOD about it or that person and focus on that.

I’ll provide more tips to be ’socially empowered’ in my next post!

Image source: ImpactFactory.com

Are you living the life you like?

Sadly, many people wake up everyday and go about their life in an almost detached way. It’s as if we’re just EXISTING, rather than really LIVING. Are you one of these people? And if so, isn’t it time you made changes that would enable you to be better you and thus live the life you really want? I think so…

WHAT do you want to do?

What is it really that you want to do in life? That is, have you always aspired to have the job you have now, live in the area you wanted to live, and so on? If not, realize now that NO ONE can make the changes necessary to live the life you dream about except yourself.

So find out what you really want to do and list down concrete steps on how you can achieve them. It may take weeks, months or even years to achieve them but delaying the start, only delays the outcome.

WHAT truly makes you happy?

As you evaluate what you want to do in life, think if this is something that will truly make you happy at this stage in your life. I emphasize ‘this stage in your life’ because oftentimes what we wanted to achieve before does not really mean a hoot to us now. Priorities change; we change.

For instance, a friend of mine, Kathy, always wanted a top-notch corporate job… and she got it! But after almost 2 years of living out of a suitcase flying all over the world she looked at her big and important-looking mahogany office desk, her expensive suit, and felt… nothing.

She told me that each time she inserted her hotel room key inside her 22nd floor hotel room suite, she experienced extreme loneliness.

Kathy quit her job and is now happily working as a freelance writer from home. She’s now married and takes breaks so often to tend to her herb garden that she’s amazed at why she ever wanted a corporate job.

WHAT are you passionate about?

What makes you excited nowadays? What would make you really jump out of bed in the morning? Zero in on this and you’ll be leading a happy life in no time.

Live everyday the best way you know how.

Everyday we make a lot of concessions. We tend to barter and compromise almost everything during our day. Try and stop this cycle now.

Don’t do anything you really don’t want to do. Stop buying things you really do not need. Tackle every obstacle the best way you know how and you improve your quality of life.

With the recent financial crises sweeping the globe, a lot of people find themselves experiencing foreclosure. Losing your home is a very emotional and mentally-challenging thing to go through so it’s important to know what steps to take after going through such an experience.

Our homes are our ’sanctuary’; for most of us, this is the place where we belong to the most. As such, when we lose our homes we often also lose a sense of ’self’. However, there IS hope. There always is! What you should do now is focus on rebuilding your life and following are some tips to do this.

Create your personal budget.

The first thing to do after experiencing foreclosure is to lift yourself up, dust off your sleeves, and start rebuilding your finances. So, do you know the EXACT amount that comes to you monthly and how much exactly flows out?

List down your income and all the things that you spend on each month. Does your income support all your expenses? If not, which ones can you cut off completely so that you can start saving?

Even if your income is ok to support a lot of your current expenses, you should still make drastic changes so that you can start saving and building your credit again.

The sooner you do this, the sooner you’ll be able to afford a house again.

Take a long and hard look at your credit report.

Check your credit report with a fine-toothed comb. Go over every detail and dispute any errors. This will help fix a damaged credit rating.

In too deep or don’t know where to start? Consider talking to a financial consultant or debt counselor.

If your in a real financial mess, then consider hiring a consultant. Oftentimes, people find it hard to tighten their financial belts and it takes a 3rd party, someone with whom you have no emotional ties, to really drill down the things that you need to cut back on.

Consider it the perfect time to go back to basics and enjoy the simple things in life.

If you used to indulge in designer clothes and even designer coffee, then consider this a time where you need to indulge on just your  inner self and not your outer self. Things like yoga, running in the park, going to the local wet market and cooking your own food, and brewing your own coffee!, bring their own joys in life too.

After the year that we’ve all been through, it’s not surprising at all that we all look to 2010 with high hopes for a better year. But hoping, having faith and  acting upon this wish are different things.

So what do you do to ensure that you make this year financially better?

SAVE Up

We’ve all been taught to save for a rainy day but many of us never did, thinking the good times will last forever. This is partly why the financial crisis sweeping the world swept us all so hard… and so fast.

Due to the fact that most people did not have REAL money saved up, the minute credit was no longer extended to us, we could not make ends meet anymore. Of course, some can argue – and rightfully so – that they had money saved up at the bank but the bank folded up. Still, those you had money saved were better off, or at better for a longer period of time, that those who did not.

So starting TODAY, save as much money as you can. Get rid (read: sell) of anything and everything you don’t really need and convert that asset into cold hard cash you can keep for a rainy day.

Go back to basics and re-train yourself to be happy with the simple stuff, not the material ones.

Use Debit Cards Instead of Credit Cards

Debit cards are financial instruments directly linked to your savings. You’re not buying things in credit. Instead, you paid with what you had in the bank. If you don’t have the funds, you can’t use the card to buy.

The advantage with debit cards is that like credit cards you don’t need to bring around cash all the time. It also helps train you to bu only what you can afford at exactly that time.

Ditch Credit Cards (or At Least, Use them Sparingly)

There’s no denying that credit cards CAN be useful, especially during emergencies. However, we’ve become a ‘credit card generation’ where we buy things based on money that does not exist or money that we do not actually have in our pockets.

This has made the buying process ‘easier’ but with each credit card charge, we’ve made our lives harder. Instead of looking towards our paychecks and what we can purchase with the money received, we’ve spent all the money (and then some) already!

So seriously, do yourself a BIG FAVOR and keep in mind that using credit cards is not a way to live your life. They should only be used as a last resort.

Most people do not fully realize that the state of their healths has a direct affect on their thoughts processes. The thing is, being unhealthy can be both the cause and effect of unhappiness.

For instance, if you’re unhappy, you might emotionally eat and thus be unhealthy. The case may also be that you’ve let yourself go so much that you are now unhappy with the way your health has gone.  See, what I mean?

All this points to the benefits of leading a healthy and well-balanced lifestyle. I’ve covered dieting and exercising a couple of times in the past and will probably do so again if I come across something I know will benefit you, but for now, I’ll just focus on a few things that will help you snack in healthier way.

Drink water.

We’ve already discussed the benefits of increasing your water intake but this time drinking water also helps you get rid of any ‘cravings’. Further, even if you do give in, you will most likely not snack to much as the water has helped make you feel full.

Brush your teeth.

Brushing your teeth is so routinely done just before bedtime that it’s a mental signal to your brain that you’re done eating for the day!

Wait a bit…

Consider calling someone just to talk. Don’t talk about the craving but just catch up with family and friends. This will put any craving or hunger pangs at bay. After a few minutes of talking, you may find that you’re not in the mood to eat anymore.

If you must have something ‘bad’, make it at least a good choice.

One of the worst things you can do is to completely deny yourself certain food items. So if you must have something to snack one, try to eat healthier alternatives to a bag of chips. You can try freshly popped popcorn, a warm cup of vegetable soup, a handful of nuts, yogurt ice cream, veggie sticks with a humus dip, and more!

Stock your ref and pantry with these healthier alternatives so that even if you do crave a bag of chips, you can’t have them!