Communication is vital in just about any situation you will find yourself in life. If you don’t know how to communicate well, then your work life and personal life will suffer. And then one day you’ll wake up, find yourself miserable and wonder what it was that got you there. Well most of the time it’s this: you didn’t know how to communicate.

When I say communicate, I really mean two things: your ability to relate what YOU want, and your ability to listen to what others want. Following are just a few tips to help you communicate better.

Think before you speak.

Oftentimes, we find ourselves blurting out just whatever it is that comes into our heads. Now, others will say that this is pure honesty. Actually, it isn’t. It’s simply lashing out and most of the time people who don’t think before they speak regret what they said, and worse, they realize later that they never got to express what they REALLY wanted to say.

So take a few seconds before you say something out loud. This may be hard at the start but if you make it a habit, it will become easier and easier each day.

Focus on the topic.

In a conflict situation, we often bring in previous faults, old scenarios, and so on, that really have absolutely nothing to do with the current topic.

Now, why does one do this? This is often a sign that the person thinks he is ‘losing ground’ in the discussion. Simply put: since he/she is not winning, that person is now grasping at straws and throwing them into the fire to make a bigger flame.

If you want to communicate better, then you have to remember to discuss just what is relevant to the topic; no more or less.

Be aware of the tone of your voice.

When you short or get angry, you kill the conversation. When you’re angry, you get frustrated and your emotion gets in the way. The person you are talking to also gets angry, also gets frustrated, and before you know it a shouting match ensues and you no longer want to talk to each other.

So if you want to be really heard, then it’s important that you keep a level voice. The discussion will last longer that way.