Communication is vital in just about any situation you will find yourself in life. If you don’t know how to communicate well, then your work life and personal life will suffer. And then one day you’ll wake up, find yourself miserable and wonder what it was that got you there. Well most of the time it’s this: you didn’t know how to communicate.

When I say communicate, I really mean two things: your ability to relate what YOU want, and your ability to listen to what others want. Following are just a few tips to help you communicate better.

Think before you speak.

Oftentimes, we find ourselves blurting out just whatever it is that comes into our heads. Now, others will say that this is pure honesty. Actually, it isn’t. It’s simply lashing out and most of the time people who don’t think before they speak regret what they said, and worse, they realize later that they never got to express what they REALLY wanted to say.

So take a few seconds before you say something out loud. This may be hard at the start but if you make it a habit, it will become easier and easier each day.

Focus on the topic.

In a conflict situation, we often bring in previous faults, old scenarios, and so on, that really have absolutely nothing to do with the current topic.

Now, why does one do this? This is often a sign that the person thinks he is ‘losing ground’ in the discussion. Simply put: since he/she is not winning, that person is now grasping at straws and throwing them into the fire to make a bigger flame.

If you want to communicate better, then you have to remember to discuss just what is relevant to the topic; no more or less.

Be aware of the tone of your voice.

When you short or get angry, you kill the conversation. When you’re angry, you get frustrated and your emotion gets in the way. The person you are talking to also gets angry, also gets frustrated, and before you know it a shouting match ensues and you no longer want to talk to each other.

So if you want to be really heard, then it’s important that you keep a level voice. The discussion will last longer that way.

There’s no doubt about it, we are living very fast-paced, extremely stressful lives these days. And in between rushing from one task to another, it’s almost a miracle that we remember to breathe in between doesn’t it?

However, it’s important to find some peace in the middle of the madness we often find ourselves in. If we don’t find this piece of inner calmness, we’ll go nuts with all the things we have to do! So here are a few tips I have for you so you can find that inner peace.

Get organized.

Surprising how our plates get so full without us realizing it, huh? The first step to getting rid of daily madness is to get organized. So grab pen and paper now and make a list of what you need to do, and what you CAN do in the next hours of your day.

Normally, I just dump about say 10, 20 or even 30 things I need to do and start prioritizing them. If I get to do tasks 1-8 on the list that day, I’m a happy camper!

Learn to say NO.

Stop trying to please everyone! Ask yourself these questions: will these people be there for you if you need them? Can’t they really do these things themselves instead of running to you all the time? What will YOU gain from helping out this person?

It’s your life and your time, so you better start prioritizing things that will make YOU happy.

Yes, you deserve at least 10 minutes of your own time each day.

Most people feel ‘guilty’ for taking time for themselves? WHY? Your first priority should be yourself. This is the only way you can really be of any help to others. So go ahead and take that mini-break, be it a weekend away without any mobile phone or just a 10-minute meditation break in your attic, and simply take a moment to recharge.

You need to find peace inside you so can be happier and healthier overall. And really, there is no better reason or motivation for you  to do this than this: you deserve it.

One would think that loving one’s self is easy. Actually, a lot of people find it extremely hard to love themselves for various reasons but usually this points to a low self-esteem.

Accepting and loving yourself is very important because if you don’t, how can you expect others to do the same? Also, not being able to love yourself will show in  every aspect of your life and this is  NOT the attitude of someone of wants to succeed in life.

So, do you want a life of happiness and success or one of loneliness and letdowns?

The great news is that anyone at any time can start learning to love an accept oneself. Following are a few tips to help you get on this road.

Know your good qualities and appreciate them.

What are you good at? What qualities do you possess that are just darn great?

And do not say you don’t know or that you’re not good anything. That is exactly the defeatist attitude that you should learn to overcome! So write down a few things that you like about yourself. In fact, even if you think others don’t like a specific quality about you but YOU like it in you, write it down!

Embrace your good qualities, this is the first step to loving yourself.

It’s good to invest in yourself.

True, nothing beats inner beauty… but a little outward help will not do any harm as well. In fact, oftentimes, uplifting one’s looks uplifts one’s spirit. So go out and have a new haircut, buy new clothes, and maybe even invest in improving the appearance of your teeth.

Now before you think I’ve lost my mind, please note that research shows that having misaligned, crooked, deformed, dark or unhealthy teeth is one of the main reasons for a person’s low self-esteem. So go to your dentist or buy a teeth whitening tray if this will help you improve your teeth and thus enable you to smile more!

Realize that no one is perfect.

People who don’t love themselves often compare themselves to other people and why others are so much better than they are. Well, realize this: no one is perfect. Everybody has a flaw, a bad hair day, days when they’re covered in acne, days when they messed up at work, and so on. We are all only human after all. So remove this notion that the next person is better and think this: YOU are better.

Freely accept the love of others for you!

When we do not accept ourselves, it’s hard to realize why others do. This time don’t ask WHY somebody likes you or even loves you, simply accept it. Accept that you deserve this love that others are giving you. And indeed why not? You are a great person with great qualities that have so much going for you… if only you love yourself enough to let them happen.

Do your kids help you out with household chores? If they don’t, then you should motivate them to do so. It will have far more long-term benefits than you think.

Apart from the obvious benefits to you, helping out with household chores actually have a lot of benefits for kids too.

Kids will learn about the value of responsibility. Teach your child the value of taking responsibility early. This way, he/she will not grow up with this inate desire to ‘pass the bucket’.

Prevents boredom and overall laziness. A lot of parents look at their children and wonder why they are just so lazy. Well, guess what? One of the main reasons for this is because they were never taught to ‘work’. Everything is done for them and everything is handed on a silver platter. On the other hand, if you teach your child the value of accomplishing ‘tasks’, then he/she will grow up thinking that ‘taking action’ is the only way to achieve something.

Keeps them grounded. We all complain about how the world has become too individualistic and materialistic. If you involve your child with household chores at an early age, your kid will learn the value of keeping his feet on the ground.

Bonding time! Doing household chores together is excellent bonding time. Use it to not just be together physically but as a time for real communication with your child. If you start this early, there’s a good chance your child will not lock himself into a room and not share anything with you during those dreaded teenage years.

Ok, so now you know the BENEFITS of motivating your child to help out at home but HOW do you accomplish this exactly?

First of all, ASK, don’t shout. Issuing commands by yelling or issuing ultimatums (if you don’t do this… you won’t…) is not the way to motivate your child to help you.

Secondly, let your child choose the chore he/she wants to do. If your kid absolutely hates throwing the trash out, then it’s ok if he doesn’t want to do it… but there should be a chore to replace it. This way, youf kid feels a bit in control as opposed to just being bossed around. Your child won’t resent the task and you still managed to make him/her help you one way or the other.

Lastly, don’t do the chore for him/her. What can I say? Kids will be kids and sometimes they’ll try to maneuver out of a chore. If your child ‘forgets’ to do something, don’t do it for him. For instance, he forgot to fold the laundry, leave it for him to fold the following day.

For some reason, shyness is looked at as a not-so-serious characteristic. But as they say ‘everything in life must be in moderation’. That is, a little shyness is ok but when it gets in the way of your development as a person, then it’s time you got over your overt shyness.

For instance, if you are overly shy, then you will be perceived at work as ‘weak’ or incapable of getting things done and this will get in the way of achieving success at work. The same goes for relationships; if you don’t make it known what you want… somebody else will take what you desire.

So let’s address how you can overcome your shyness, shall we?

Firstly, improve your appearance. A lot of people say that changing the way you look is not accepting yourself. This is BS. Just a quick look at make-over programs at TV will tell you that oftentimes, not so fashionably dressed people are simply lost at how to dress up and look good in public.

And no, changing their hairstyle and putting on more fashionable clothes DO NOT mean they are betraying themselves. In fact, it’s a way to make your outer self reveal the real you inside.

Again, notice how people look younger and ooze a more magnetic and energetic personality after a make-over. Now do the same to for yourself!

You don’t need to hire a fashion consultant, just ask your friends! Look at what other people of the same age are wearing. Walk into a hair salon and ask the stylist what would look good on you.

Improving your appearance will be a DRAMATIC lift to your self-esteem so go for it!

Secondly,  develop your social skills. Now that you’re more confident with the way you look, it’s time to put yourself out there. Don’t run away from social functions, try to slowly be part of them.

If you’re afraid of not knowing what to say, go online and check the latest news and gossip on the internet. Watch the news, and yes, commenting on the weather is still a good opening phrase in any discussion!

Practice. One way you can slowly practice your social skills is to practice at home or at smaller gatherings. For instance, invite a few family members or a few very close friends for coffee. You can also attend a gathering of a club whose topic is very interesting to you. This way, you’ll be more comfortable taking part in the discussion because you are well versed in the topic.

Focus simply on what’s being said. Don’t worry too much about what may happen or what the other person is thinking while you are talking. Simply SPEAK and be in the moment.

Good luck!

If you can dream it… you can achieve it.
Success begins inside you.
Think yourself rich.

These are just some of the things you often hear others say about how to begin accumulating wealth in your life. Are they true? Yes.

The mind is truly a powerful thing. Think about it; if you don’t believe in what you can achieve in your life… WHO WILL? Furthermore, if you don’t believe inside you that you will be reach, then every attempt to become wealthy will require twice the effort!

So how do motivate yourself to think rich? Consider the following tips.

Visualize your financial goals.

Sure, we all want to be wealthy but  just HOW wealthy? What MOMENT do you want to see in the future? Do you want to see a thousand, crisp hundred dollar bills in your wallet? Do you want to see yourself drive a BMW through Spain?

It’s amazing isn’t it; how difficult it can be sometimes to PICTURE yourself in that wealthy moment. You see this is one of the problems most people have. They say they want to be wealthy but they find it hard to say in words and visualize what they actually want to experience.

Think of it as ordering in a restaurant. You must be able to place your ‘order’. Otherwise, you won’t get it.

So visualize in your mind these ‘rich-filled moments’ and be as specific as you can.

Break your desires into milestones.

The next thing to do is to break each goal into several reachable goals. For instance,a  friend of mine just released new software in the market and her goal is to reach $1 million in sales by December 25, 2010!

So as early as March of last year, she has been at her list of milestones to ensure that this goal is slowly but surely achieved.

Incidentally, I called on her to greet her for New Year last week and she told me she was already selling at a rate of 35 units per day… and counting!

Take concrete action.

After breaking your wealth goal into numerous steps, TAKE ACTION and don’t delay. Everything is based on the universal rules of cause and effect, remember that.

Re-focus everyday.

Every morning, I take about 10 minutes to meditate. No fancy clothes or music or incense (but of course, you can use these if you want to). I just sit on a chair at the corner of our attic (the one directly below a skylight) and keep still and re-affirm my wealth goals to myself for about 10 minutes.

BELIEVE.

After you meditate, BELIEVE that everything today will work to help you accomplish your goals. And although each day may not be 100% positive all the time, believe me, most days will be!